I'm Mike and I write for deadshirt.net! I do a weekly advice column called Just Dandy and I NEED YOUR DREAMS. Send them to justdandy@deadshirt.net
nevver:

Vampire on a Shark

This is equal parts beautiful dream and terrible nightmare. Is it two things that want to kill me, or two things I aspire to be???
Soon, I will make my Sharkpire Family proud.

nevver:

Vampire on a Shark

This is equal parts beautiful dream and terrible nightmare. Is it two things that want to kill me, or two things I aspire to be???

Soon, I will make my Sharkpire Family proud.

The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa MariaI’ll do you in the bottom while you drink a SangriaNachos, Lemonheads, my dad’s boatYou wont go down cuz my dick can floatWe sail around the world and go port to portEvery time I cum, I produce a quartPut on your lifevest, lets drop anchor(oh) that’s a nice lady, who I’d like to spank her(boats n’ hoesBoats and hoes, I gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2 )Deadliest catch, without the crabsWe’re almost out of gas, Call the Arabs! I’m a pussy pirate my name is Jack SparrowI’ll take off my pants she can see my flesh arrowMake sure to waxUse your mom’s NairYou’ll be amazed when i cum in your hairPull up the anchor, cause we are leavin’ dry landGet below deck, with a dick in your hand!Anchors away, and shiver me timbers, we like to fuck ladies with our eight-inch members!Love me hookers who be a curvy,eatin lemons and lime no don’t contractin the scurvy!Drop the archor give the hoe a shout,cuz I’m usin my compass to find a nappy dugout!(boats n’ hoesBoats and hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x3 )Thats the male Mariah Carey y’all, give it up!

The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria
I’ll do you in the bottom while you drink a Sangria

Nachos, Lemonheads, my dad’s boat
You wont go down cuz my dick can float

We sail around the world and go port to port
Every time I cum, I produce a quart
Put on your lifevest, lets drop anchor
(oh) that’s a nice lady, who I’d like to spank her

(boats n’ hoes
Boats and hoes, I gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2 )

Deadliest catch, without the crabs
We’re almost out of gas, 
Call the Arabs! 
I’m a pussy pirate my name is Jack Sparrow
I’ll take off my pants she can see my flesh arrow

Make sure to wax
Use your mom’s Nair
You’ll be amazed when i cum in your hair
Pull up the anchor, cause we are leavin’ dry land
Get below deck, with a dick in your hand!

Anchors away, and shiver me timbers, 
we like to fuck ladies with our eight-inch members!
Love me hookers who be a curvy,
eatin lemons and lime no don’t contractin the scurvy!
Drop the archor give the hoe a shout,
cuz I’m usin my compass to find a nappy dugout!

(boats n’ hoes
Boats and hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x3 )

Thats the male Mariah Carey y’all, give it up!


joanjettandtheblackhearts:

Whoa.

What’s she looking at? I think it’s this:

joanjettandtheblackhearts:

Whoa.

What’s she looking at? I think it’s this:

Diamond Dave, No one can hold a candle.

WHAT?

WHAT?

THE COMPLETE JEAN-RALPHIO.

THE COMPLETE JEAN-RALPHIO.

THE COMPLETE JEAN-RALPHIO.

Eat dolphins. Hang out with Ladysingers. Fa-lush. With Cash.